 | Welcome Everyone! | Mar 17, 2008 |
 | :) | Aug 19, '08 8:16 PM
for everyone |
| :P | Aug 19, '08 8:14 PM
for everyone |
 
Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf
As soon as Wolf began to feel
That he would like a decent meal,
He went and knocked on Grandma's door.
When Grandma opened it, she saw
The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin,
And Wolfie said, "May I come in?"
Poor Grandmamma was terrified,
"He's going to eat me up!" she cried.
And she was absolutely right.
He ate her up in one big bite.
But Grandmamma was small and tough,
And Wolfie wailed, "That's not enough!
I haven't yet begun to feel
That I have had a decent meal!"
He ran around the kitchen yelping,
"I've got to have a second helping!"
Then added with a frightful leer,
"I'm therefore going to wait right here
Till Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Comes home from walking in the wood."
He quickly put on Grandma's clothes,
(Of course he hadn't eaten those).
He dressed himself in coat and hat.
He put on shoes, and after that,
He even brushed and curled his hair,
Then sat himself in Grandma's chair.
In came the little girl in red.
She stopped. She stared. And then she said,
"What great big ears you have, Grandma."
"All the better to hear you with,"
the Wolf replied.
"What great big eyes you have, Grandma."
said Little Red Riding Hood.
"All the better to see you with,"
the Wolf replied.
He sat there watching her and smiled.
He thought, I'm going to eat this child.
Compared with her old Grandmamma,
She's going to taste like caviar.
Then Little Red Riding Hood said, "
But Grandma, what a lovely great big
furry coat you have on."
"That's wrong!" cried Wolf.
"Have you forgot
To tell me what BIG TEETH I've got?
Ah well, no matter what you say,
I'm going to eat you anyway."
The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims it at the creature's head,
And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
A few weeks later, in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said, "Hello, and do please note
My lovely furry wolfskin coat."
 A Bill of Rights is what the people are entitled to against every government, and what no just government should refuse, or rest on inference.
Thomas Jefferson
A coward is much more exposed to quarrels than a man of spirit.
Thomas Jefferson
A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
Thomas Jefferson
A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor and bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government.
Thomas Jefferson
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Thomas Jefferson
All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
Thomas Jefferson
All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression.
Thomas Jefferson
Always take hold of things by the smooth handle.
Thomas Jefferson
An association of men who will not quarrel with one another is a thing which has never yet existed, from the greatest confederacy of nations down to a town meeting or a vestry.
Thomas Jefferson
An enemy generally says and believes what he wishes.
Thomas Jefferson
An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
Thomas Jefferson
As our enemies have found we can reason like men, so now let us show them we can fight like men also.
Thomas Jefferson
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.
Thomas Jefferson
Be polite to all, but intimate with few.
Thomas Jefferson
Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect, but of all human contemplations the most abhorrent is body without mind.
Thomas Jefferson
Books constitute capital. A library book lasts as long as a house, for hundreds of years. It is not, then, an article of mere consumption but fairly of capital, and often in the case of professional men, setting out in life, it is their only capital.
Thomas Jefferson
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.
Thomas Jefferson
Commerce with all nations, alliance with none, should be our motto.
Thomas Jefferson
Conquest is not in our principles. It is inconsistent with our government.
Thomas Jefferson
Delay is preferable to error.
Thomas Jefferson
Dependence begets subservience and venality, suffocates the germ of virtue, and prepares fit tools for the designs of ambition.
Thomas Jefferson
Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
Thomas Jefferson
Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion. The several sects perform the office of a Censor - over each other.
Thomas Jefferson
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it.
Thomas Jefferson
Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.
Thomas Jefferson
Don't talk about what you have done or what you are going to do.
Thomas Jefferson
Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.
Thomas Jefferson
Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.
Thomas Jefferson
Errors of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it.
Thomas Jefferson
Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.
Thomas Jefferson
Every generation needs a new revolution.
Thomas Jefferson
Every government degenerates when trusted to the rulers of the people alone. The people themselves are its only safe depositories.
Thomas Jefferson
Experience demands that man is the only animal which devours his own kind, for I can apply no milder term to the general prey of the rich on the poor.
Thomas Jefferson
Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny.
Thomas Jefferson
Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.
Thomas Jefferson
For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so, a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.
Thomas Jefferson
Force is the vital principle and immediate parent of despotism.
Thomas Jefferson
Friendship is but another name for an alliance with the follies and the misfortunes of others. Our own share of miseries is sufficient: why enter then as volunteers into those of another?
Thomas Jefferson
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind.
Thomas Jefferson
He who knows best knows how little he knows.
Thomas Jefferson
He who knows nothing is closer to the truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.
Thomas Jefferson
History, in general, only informs us of what bad government is.
Thomas Jefferson
Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
Thomas Jefferson
How much pain they have cost us, the evils which have never happened.
Thomas Jefferson
I abhor war and view it as the greatest scourge of mankind.
Thomas Jefferson
I am an Epicurean. I consider the genuine (not the imputed) doctrines of Epicurus as containing everything rational in moral philosophy which Greek and Roman leave to us.
Thomas Jefferson
I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America, the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry, and of criminal inquiry too.
Thomas Jefferson
I believe that every human mind feels pleasure in doing good to another.
Thomas Jefferson
I cannot live without books.
Thomas Jefferson
I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.
Thomas Jefferson
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
Thomas Jefferson
I find that he is happiest of whom the world says least, good or bad.
Thomas Jefferson
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Thomas Jefferson
I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office.
Thomas Jefferson
I have no fear that the result of our experiment will be that men may be trusted to govern themselves without a master.
Thomas Jefferson
I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.
Thomas Jefferson
I have seen enough of one war never to wish to see another.
Thomas Jefferson
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
Thomas Jefferson
I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us, that the less we use our power the greater it will be.
Thomas Jefferson
I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country.
Thomas Jefferson
I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them but to inform their discretion.
Thomas Jefferson
I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.
Thomas Jefferson
I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
Thomas Jefferson
I never will, by any word or act, bow to the shrine of intolerance or admit a right of inquiry into the religious opinions of others.
Thomas Jefferson
I own that I am not a friend to a very energetic government. It is always oppressive.
Thomas Jefferson
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson
I sincerely believe that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies, and that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale.
Thomas Jefferson
I think with the Romans, that the general of today should be a soldier tomorrow if necessary.
Thomas Jefferson
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
Thomas Jefferson
I was bold in the pursuit of knowledge, never fearing to follow truth and reason to whatever results they led, and bearding every authority which stood in their way.
Thomas Jefferson
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Thomas Jefferson
I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.
Thomas Jefferson
If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.
Thomas Jefferson
If God is just, I tremble for my country.
Thomas Jefferson
If the present Congress errs in too much talking, how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people send one hundred and fifty lawyers, whose trade it is to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour?
Thomas Jefferson
If there is one principle more deeply rooted in the mind of every American, it is that we should have nothing to do with conquest.
Thomas Jefferson
Ignorance is preferable to error, and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing than he who believes what is wrong.
Thomas Jefferson
In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
Thomas Jefferson
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Thomas Jefferson
In truth, politeness is artificial good humor, it covers the natural want of it, and ends by rendering habitual a substitute nearly equivalent to the real virtue.
Thomas Jefferson
Information is the currency of democracy.
Thomas Jefferson
It behooves every man who values liberty of conscience for himself, to resist invasions of it in the case of others: or their case may, by change of circumstances, become his own.
Thomas Jefferson
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God.
Thomas Jefferson
It is always better to have no ideas than false ones; to believe nothing, than to believe what is wrong.
Thomas Jefferson
It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.
Thomas Jefferson
It is in our lives and not our words that our religion must be read.
Thomas Jefferson
It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.
Thomas Jefferson
It is more dangerous that even a guilty person should be punished without the forms of law than that he should escape.
Thomas Jefferson
It is neither wealth nor splendor; but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness.
Thomas Jefferson
It is our duty still to endeavor to avoid war; but if it shall actually take place, no matter by whom brought on, we must defend ourselves. If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether it was fired from within or without, we must try to extinguish it.
Thomas Jefferson
It takes time to persuade men to do even what is for their own good.
Thomas Jefferson
Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation, which are as necessary as reading. I will rather say more necessary because health is worth more than learning.
Thomas Jefferson
Leave no authority existing not responsible to the people.
Thomas Jefferson
Liberty is to the collective body, what health is to every individual body. Without health no pleasure can be tasted by man; without liberty, no happiness can be enjoyed by society.
Thomas Jefferson
Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.
Thomas Jefferson
Merchants have no country. The mere spot they stand on does not constitute so strong an attachment as that from which they draw their gains.
Thomas Jefferson
Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
Thomas Jefferson
My only fear is that I may live too long. This would be a subject of dread to me.
Thomas Jefferson
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
Thomas Jefferson
My theory has always been, that if we are to dream, the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter, than the gloom of despair.
Thomas Jefferson
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
Thomas Jefferson
Never spend your money before you have earned it.
Thomas Jefferson
No duty the Executive had to perform was so trying as to put the right man in the right place.
Thomas Jefferson
No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
Thomas Jefferson
No government ought to be without censors; and where the press is free no one ever will.
Thomas Jefferson
No man will ever carry out of the Presidency the reputation which carried him into it.
Thomas Jefferson
No occupation is so delightful to me as the culture of the earth, and no culture comparable to that of the garden.
Thomas Jefferson
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.
Thomas Jefferson
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
Thomas Jefferson
Nothing is unchangeable but the inherent and unalienable rights of man.
Thomas Jefferson
One man with courage is a majority.
Thomas Jefferson
One travels more usefully when alone, because he reflects more.
Thomas Jefferson
Only aim to do your duty, and mankind will give you credit where you fail.
Thomas Jefferson
Our country is now taking so steady a course as to show by what road it will pass to destruction, to wit: by consolidation of power first, and then corruption, its necessary consequence.
Thomas Jefferson
Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.
Thomas Jefferson
Peace and abstinence from European interferences are our objects, and so will continue while the present order of things in America remain uninterrupted.
Thomas Jefferson
Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it.
Thomas Jefferson
Peace, commerce and honest friendship with all nations; entangling alliances with none.
Thomas Jefferson
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone I love not to mix with it.
Thomas Jefferson
Power is not alluring to pure minds.
Thomas Jefferson
Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.
Thomas Jefferson
Resort is had to ridicule only when reason is against us.
Thomas Jefferson
Rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add 'within the limits of the law' because law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the rights of the individual.
Thomas Jefferson
So confident am I in the intentions, as well as wisdom, of the government, that I shall always be satisfied that what is not done, either cannot, or ought not to be done.
Thomas Jefferson
Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Let history answer this question.
Thomas Jefferson
Speeches that are measured by the hour will die with the hour.
Thomas Jefferson
Taste cannot be controlled by law.
Thomas Jefferson
That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.
Thomas Jefferson
That government is the strongest of which every man feels himself a part.
Thomas Jefferson
The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.
Thomas Jefferson
The boisterous sea of liberty is never without a wave.
Thomas Jefferson
The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government.
Thomas Jefferson
The Creator has not thought proper to mark those in the forehead who are of stuff to make good generals. We are first, therefore, to seek them blindfold, and then let them learn the trade at the expense of great losses.
Thomas Jefferson
The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson
The earth belongs to the living, not to the dead.
Thomas Jefferson
The glow of one warm thought is to me worth more than money.
Thomas Jefferson
The god who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time: the hand of force may destroy, but cannot disjoin them.
Thomas Jefferson
The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time.
Thomas Jefferson
The good opinion of mankind, like the lever of Archimedes, with the given fulcrum, moves the world.
Thomas Jefferson
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
Thomas Jefferson
The moment a person forms a theory, his imagination sees in every object only the tracts which favor that theory.
Thomas Jefferson
The moment a person forms a theory, his imagination sees in every object only the traits which favor that theory.
Thomas Jefferson
The most successful war seldom pays for its losses.
Thomas Jefferson
The natural cause of the human mind is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
Thomas Jefferson
The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground.
Thomas Jefferson
The republican is the only form of government which is not eternally at open or secret war with the rights of mankind.
Thomas Jefferson
The second office in the government is honorable and easy; the first is but a splendid misery.
Thomas Jefferson
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.
Thomas Jefferson
The spirit of this country is totally adverse to a large military force.
Thomas Jefferson
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
Thomas Jefferson
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Thomas Jefferson
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
Thomas Jefferson
The whole commerce between master and slave is a perpetual exercise of the most boisterous passions, the most unremitting despotism on the one part, and degrading submissions on the other. Our children see this, and learn to imitate it.
Thomas Jefferson
The world is indebted for all triumphs which have been gained by reason and humanity over error and oppression.
Thomas Jefferson
There is a natural aristocracy among men. The grounds of this are virtue and talents.
Thomas Jefferson
There is not a sprig of grass that shoots uninteresting to me.
Thomas Jefferson
There is not a truth existing which I fear... or would wish unknown to the whole world.
Thomas Jefferson
Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty.
Thomas Jefferson
To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
To penetrate and dissipate these clouds of darkness, the general mind must be strengthened by education.
Thomas Jefferson
Truth is certainly a branch of morality and a very important one to society.
Thomas Jefferson
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very fast.
Thomas Jefferson
War is an instrument entirely inefficient toward redressing wrong; and multiplies, instead of indemnifying losses.
Thomas Jefferson
We are not to expect to be translated from despotism to liberty in a featherbed.
Thomas Jefferson
We did not raise armies for glory or for conquest.
Thomas Jefferson
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Thomas Jefferson
We may consider each generation as a distinct nation, with a right, by the will of its majority, to bind themselves, but none to bind the succeeding generation, more than the inhabitants of another country.
Thomas Jefferson
We never repent of having eaten too little.
Thomas Jefferson
Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
Thomas Jefferson
When a man assumes a public trust he should consider himself a public property.
Thomas Jefferson
When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.
Thomas Jefferson
When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, an hundred.
Thomas Jefferson
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
Thomas Jefferson
When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe.
Thomas Jefferson
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.
Thomas Jefferson
Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct.
Thomas Jefferson
Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government.
Thomas Jefferson
Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching.
Thomas Jefferson
Where the press is free and every man able to read, all is safe.
Thomas Jefferson
Wisdom I know is social. She seeks her fellows. But Beauty is jealous, and illy bears the presence of a rival.
Thomas Jefferson
| :) | Aug 19, '08 4:02 AM
for everyone |
Link: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250280309940&ih=015...EMPTY CONDOM PACKET & A PHOTO OF 'THE TART'S' KNICKERS
FOUND IN OUR BED AFTER A TWO TIMING LOW LIFE'S AFFAIRUP FOR AUCTION ARE
ONE EMPTY ANSELL CONDOM PACKET (SIZE small)
AND A PHOTO OF THE PAIR OF
'THE TART'S' BLACK LACEY KNICKERS (SIZE HUMONGOUS)
IT SEEMS I HAD VIOLATED EBAY'S SECONDHAND CLOTHES POLICY BY OFFERING 'THE TART'S' (HER NAME'S KYLIE i HAVE SINCE FOUND OUT) ACTUAL KNICKERS UP FOR AUCTION PREVIOUSLY
I CAN ONLY NOW OFFER A PHOTO OF THE SAID KNICKERS AND HAVE ADJUSTED THE STARTING PRICE ACCORDINGLY........ PERSONALLY, I DID THINK .99c WAS A BIT AMBITIOUS BUT, AS THEY ARE SO HUGE, I THOUGHT THEY MAY MAKE SOMEONE A NICE SHAWL OR EVEN BETTER, SOMETHING FOR HALLOWEEN PERHAPS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
SO HERE'S THE STORY SO FAR.........
Once upon a time there was a women who, after 22 years of marriage, found evidence that the soon to be ex-husband, had had 'The Tart' in their marital bed this very afternoon. This low life deceitful son-of-a-person ( I'm all for political correctness) blatently denied that this event took place even though the evidence is irrefutable and is now up for auction on e-bay.
The first tiny warning bells started ringing around about the same time a text message was received by the wife stating 'Where are you darling, I'm waiting'. As the wife had left the soon to be ex-husband at home only a couple of hours earlier to go to work, she thought it somewhat strange getting a message of that ilk from him. After a while curiosity got the better of her and with some trepidation, she decided to go home after telling her boss she had an upset stomach, which was no lie. When she arrived home an hour or so later, everything seemed normal but she couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right. His car was parked in the drive-way where she had seen it earlier on and when she got inside, there he was infront of the T.V. watching a DVD as usual. She explained she wasn't feeling too well and said she was going to lie down for a while. His re-action to this was a bit odd to say the least. 'Why don't you lie down here on the couch for a while and I'll get you a cup of tea', he said. That was her first clue that something really was amiss here. Call him chauvinistic if you want and you would be right because this low-life had never made her a cup of tea in over 22 years of marriage.... so why offer now. Yep, you guessed it, he didn't want her going into the bedroom.... now why was that you may ask. She concluded later that 'The 'Tart' must have been in the process of getting her ass dressed and out of there pronto when she had unexpectedly arrived home. Of course she made a bee line for the bedroom then, with soon to be ex-hubby on her heels and apart from an unmistakable aroma of some cheap perfume resembling nail polish remover hanging in the air, nothing seemed to be different - except for one thing. Oh, you men, you will never understand why we have those, annoying to you though they may be, throw pillows and cushions on a bed and what they mean to us women. They are aesthetically important to our decor and when you see them piled up on a chair in a corner of the room, instead of on the bed where you arranged them a few hours ago, those tiny warning bells you heard earlier were now starting to sound like 'Big Ben'. Walking over to the bed, she started slowly taking it apart whilst the soon to be ex-husband stood in the doorway watching. Initially, when she first took the doona cover off, she was sure he just thought she was going to have a lie down but he was oh so very wrong. After the doona was deposited on the floor, she picked up her pillow, turned it over, checked under where it had been and then threw it on the floor. Then came his pillow, she picked it up and here was where she found the first of the two items up for auction - an empty condom packet. With forefinger and thumb, it was gently lifted from the bed and dangled in front of the soon to be ex-husband's nose. He had, by then, turned a lovely shade of red and you could see his mind was racing,... 'how the hell am I going to get out of this'. He then said the only inane thing he could come up with at the time which was, 'What's that?'. As a couple, they had not used condoms for many years, or at least she hadn't, but surely that didn't mean he could have forgotten what one looked like! For some reason, she continued to strip the bed and when the top sheet was removed the location of the 2nd item up for auction, 'The Tart's' knickers, were discovered at the foot of the bed.
Explanations were needed pronto and would you beleive it, he actually came up with some. They were all a pack of lies and instead of admitting it, apologizing and starting to grovel, this is what he came up with. 'I dropped my phone down the toilet, I didn't want to put my hands down there and I could't get it out with the toilet brush so I used a condom because I couldn't find any rubber gloves'. Well, well, well, that was thinking on your feet eh! She thought she had heard it all now but figured she would see how big a hole he really was keen to dig for himself so she then asked. ' When was that then and where did you get the condom from?'. He replied, 'It happened just after you left for work and I rummaged around and found one in the pocket of an old jacket in the wardrobe'. 'So how is your phone then, is it working?' she asked... 'No, it's stuffed', he replied. 'So how do you explain sending me a text message a couple of hours after I was at work then'. 'What message? It wasn't from me, my phone's not working', he replied but noticed he had gone a funny shade of green as it began to sink in that he had actually sent the text to her by mistake. 'What about these knickers then, what are they doing in our bed and whose are they', she asked thinking to herself, this will be good. She wasn't disappointed, as blatant as lies go, it was a classic. 'Sorry love, I've been meaning to tell you for years but I am a closet transvestite and they are mine'.
10 out of 10 for trying buddy but your out of here........ systematically his clothes were gathered up and thrown out the front door along with 'The 'Tart's' knickers which, after second thoughts, were scooped up and retrieved. YES, there really is a God for it started to rain then. Not just that fine rain which gets on your damn nerves but bucket loads of torrential rain which the soon to be ex-husband found himself standing in whilst calling the soon to be ex-missus all the names under the sun. He was gathering up his wet soggy clothes and the photo she had thrown at him of them outside the church on their wedding day (she thought that maybe a nice touch) when he screamed out for his car keys and wallet. Off she went to get them and with no hesitation, handed them over and told him to get lost in no uncertain terms then watched as he drove away. Dangling in her hand was the key she had slipped off his keyring, to the soon to be ex-husband's 'Harley Hog', his pride and joy - which brings me nicely to the next item that will probably be sold on Ebay at a start price of.99c and of course, with no reserve!
AND THATS THE STORY SO FAR...... HAPPY BIDDING
SELLERS TERMS AND CONDITIONS
PAYMENT WITHIN 24 HOURS FROM END OF AUCTION VIA PAYPAL (OR MONEY ORDER WITHIN AUSTRALIA) AND IN AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS ONLY PLEASE
WORLDWIDE POSTAGE AND HANDLING $2.00AU
Click here to see my other items, ranked by popularity!
On Aug-15-08 at 19:41:51 PDT, seller added the following information:
Hi everyone and my sincere thanks for the humongous amount of support, comments and questions you have sent and must apologise for not being able to answer many of them. However, I have selected a few of the more common ones to answer so here goes:
NO, sorry, you cannot have Kylie's phone number.
NO, the Harley will not be cut in half to give him his share, far too much respect for the bike to do that!
NO, 'The Tart's' knickers are not suitable for use as sails for your boats, 2 man tents or parachutes etc.
YES, you could have used the missing condom as a back pack for your Hamster Andy.....
YES, the winning bidder will receive a new (one off) photo of 'The Tart's Knickers' - not the one displayed here.
As for the questions pertaining to if, when and what was said to the soon to be ex husband the last time he was seen..... well as it turns out, that was fairly recently. Arrived on the doorstep holding flowers, a box of chocolates and wearing an expression that would certainly have won Gold in the 'Poor Me' event at the Olympics if they had one. His apologies were nothing that had not been heard before and a heated discussion (oh, alright then, a row) broke out. His last words were, 'my God woman, does that mouth of yours come with it's own postcode' - must admit that for a nano second there, a fleeting thought of 'good comeback' was recorded but it wasn't over yet. He was then told in no uncertain terms, not to try and battle wits with someone when he was unarmed and that now, all he was doing now was shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic..... he was going down. The chocolates were snatched out of his hands (we women know our priorities) before the door was closed firmly (oh alright, slammed then) in his face.
Question & Answer Answered On
Q: ahh my knickers you found them! Aug-11-08
A: Yeah, they were down the end of my bed, do you wanna pop round and pick them upKylie?
Q: G'day, well done, you go girl, what a novel way to tell the truth, we love it down south, 10 points woman, best ebayer yet!!!!! Aug-10-08
A: Hi and am glad you like it, he doesn't but do we care?.... Cheers, Anna
Q: Anna, you have a great personality and seem to be taking this incident really well. You should get your auction to Jay Leno, the host of a very popular...more Aug-10-08
A: Hi, thanks for your comments, much appreciated and I am glad you liked it. Cheers, Anna
Q: Hello Power to you, GO Girl, Take he down, email to all his friends this item Kate Aug-10-08
A: Been there, done that! Thanks for your support Kate, cheers.
Q: hey love! good work haha.. my boyfriends birthday is coming up soon and i would much like to buy him this harly hog... do u know when it will be up for...more Aug-10-08
A: Hi, not sure yet but I am sure he is suffering withdrawal symptoms from not having his pride and joy around..... Cheers
Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again
The real Humpty Dumpty was not a person but a powerful cannon used by the Royalist forces during the English Civil War of 1642 to 1651.
Sir Charles Lucas and Sir George Lisle led the King's men and overpowered the Parliament stronghold of Colchester early in 1648. They grimly held on while the Parliamentarians, led by Thomas Fairfax, encircled and besieged the town.
The supporters of Charles I almost won the day - all thanks to his doughtiest defender, Humpty Dumpty. In pole position, as it were, on top of the church tower of St Mary-at-the-Walls (Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall) their gunners managed to blast away the attacking Roundhead troops for 11 weeks.  Eventually, though, the top of the church tower was blown away, sending Humpty Dumpty crashing to the ground, where it buried itself in deep marshland (Humpty Dumpty had a great fall).
The king's cavalry (the horses) and the infantry (the men) hurried to retrieve the cannon, but they couldn't put Humpty together again - and without their weapon of mass destruction they were soon overrun by Fairfax and his soldiers.
Pop Goes the Weasel
Half a pound of tuppenny rice,
Half a pound of treacle.
That's the way the money goes,
Pop goes the weasel.
There has been much debate over the years about the meaning of Pop Goes The Weasel. A hugely popular music-hall song, its memorable and seemingly nonsensical lyrics spread like wildfire throughout Victorian London.
But is there more to the rhyme than meets the eye? In the 1680s, the poor and immigrants lived outside the walls of the City of London in Spitalfields, Hoxton and Shoreditch and slaved away in London's textile industry, which was based there.
Packed with sweatshops, it was also the site of many music halls and theatres.
One theory suggests that Pop Goes The Weasel was an attempt to turn the grim reality of local people's lives into a hit song.
In the textile industry, a spinner's weasel was a mechanical thread-measuring device in the shape of a spoked wheel, that accurately measured out yarn by making a popping sound to indicate the correct length had been reached.
The mind-numbing and repetitive nature of the work is captured in the final line of each verse, indicating that whatever you were doing, or wherever your mind had wandered to, reality was never far away with the weasel to pop you alert again.
Polly Put the Kettle On
Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on;
We'll all have tea.
Sukey take it off again,
Sukey take it off again,
Sukey take it off again;
They've all gone away.
One theory about the origins of this rhyme centres on the life of an unnamed writer in London in the mid-18th century with his young family of two boys and three girls.
Supposedly, there were many arguments between the children about who could play in which room of the house. The girls, keen to be rid of the noisy boys, would often pretend to start a tea party.
The youngest, Polly, would reach for the toy kettle as the other girls sang 'Polly put the kettle on'.
At this point, the boys would scarper Their father was so enamoured of the girls' cheek that he wrote it all down, set it to music and the rhyme was later published.  Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water;
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.
Taken at face value, the rhyme doesn't make sense. Why do Jack and Jill go up the hill to fetch water? Water generally runs downhill, so perhaps it's a cover story for something else.
A small village in Somerset has laid claim to the origin of the rhyme. The story told in Kilmersdon is that during 1697 the village was home to a young unmarried couple who did a lot of their courting up on a hill, away from the prying eyes of the local gossips.
Consequently Jill became pregnant, but just before the baby was born Jack was killed by a rock that fell off the hill and landed on his head. Only days later, Jill also died in childbirth. It's cheery stuff.
The rhyme is today depicted on a series of tablet stones along the path to the hill.
Old King Cole
Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he;
He called for his pipe,
And he called for his bowl
And he called for his fiddlers three.
Some believe that the rhyme must have been written after the introduction of tobacco to Europe in 1564. But it might go back much further, to the early part of the first millennium, where the pipe was much more likely to have been the double aulos, an ancient reed instrument, and the bowl a type of drum.
In addition, the word coel is the Gaelic word for 'music', so could Old King Cole be the 'Old King of Music' - the venerable leader of a band, playing the pipe and drum with his fiddlers three? Or could he have been a real person?
We find three candidates dating back to the Roman occupation and three rulers of Colchester - known as the Kings of Cole.
Ride a Cock Horse
Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse;
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
She shall have music wherever she goes.
Some argue that only one historic figure could inspire such a rhyme. Step forward Lady Godiva, England's favourite naked horsewoman.
During the 11th century, Leofric, the Earl of Mercia, tried to impose heavy taxes on his countrymen, provoking outrage and near riots. Leofric's wife, Godgifu (changed over time to Godiva), sympathised with the common people and urged her husband to lower the new taxes he had levied.
Now, Leofric was obviously a man with a sense of humour because he told his wife he would lower taxes only after she had ridden naked through the streets of Coventry.
But he hadn't reckoned upon Godiva's spirit and, much to his surprise, she agreed to the challenge. The delighted people of Coventry, as a show of respect and to spare her blushes, all agreed to stay indoors, close their shutters and face the other way as the lady passed by.
She rode through the streets on her beloved white horse, completely naked apart from her wedding ring (rings on her fingers), and with bells attached to her toes to remind the people of Coventry not to look out of their windows.
All the citizens kept their word, except for Tom the tailor, who couldn't help himself and peeped out through the shutters - hence the expression 'Peeping Tom'. According to legend, Tom was then struck blind.
Doctor Foster
Doctor Foster
Went to Gloucester
In a shower of rain.
He stepped in a puddle
Right up to his middle
And never went there again
One theory runs that the origins of this verse stretch back more than 700 years to Edward I (1239-1307), who was known by the nickname of Dr Foster. (The doctor part perhaps because he was a learned man; the origins of Foster are unknown.)
On a visit to Gloucester during a storm, the King rode his horse through what appeared to be a shallow puddle, but it turned out to be a deep ditch.
Both King and horse became trapped in the mud and had to be hauled out - to Edward's fury and embarrassment.
The King, also known as 'Edward the Lawgiver' and responsible for much of the Tower of London , vowed never to return to Gloucester - and he remained true to his word.
Baa Baa Black Sheep Baa Baa Black Sheep
Baa Baa Black Sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, sir, yes, sir,
Three bags full;
One for the master,
One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.
The final line of this rhyme until 1765 went like this: 'And none for the little boy who cries down the lane.' It is thought it was changed to make it more pleasant for young ears.
But the original version is at the heart of the meaning of the rhyme, which, unsurprisingly enough, is all about sheep.
Sheep have always been important to the rural economy, and by 1260, some flocks consisted of as many as 8,000 animals, tended by a dozen full-time shepherds.
When Edward I returned from his crusading in 1272, he imposed new taxes on wool to fund his military campaigns. It was this wool tax that is said to be the basis of the rhyme.
One-third of the price of each sack must go to the Kking (the master); one-third to the Church or the monasteries (the dame); and none to the actual shepherd (the little boy who cries down the lane).
Rather than being a gentle song about sharing things out fairly, it's a bitter reflection on how brutal life was for the working classes.
Georgie Porgie
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry;
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.
There is a sinister undertone to this nursery rhyme, but what - and who - is it all about? One possible candidate for Georgie Porgie is the Prince Regent George IV.
Immensely fat (Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie), his corset-wearing was the source of constant ridicule and satirical cartoons. By 1797, his weight had reached 171/2 stone and by 1824 his corsets were being made for a waist of 50 inches.
George had a reputation for lechery, and his chequered love life involved several mistresses, illegitimate children and even bigamy.
He had a wife, Caroline of Brunswick, whom he detested so much he banned her from his coronation, and a mistress, Maria Anne Fitzherbert (a Roman Catholic and a commoner whom he would never be allowed to marry) - and he managed to make both women miserable (Kissed the girls and made them cry).
In addition, although George loved watching prize-fighting ( bareknuckle boxing, which was illegal), his own physical and emotional cowardice was legendary.
This is illustrated by a story of the most infamous prize-fight of the day, when one contestant died of his injuries. George was present, but when the fighter died, the Prince - terrified of being implicated - ran away (when the boys come out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away).  Sing a Song of Sixpence
Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye;
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened, the birds began to sing;
Oh, wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?
The king was in his counting house counting out his money,
The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey.
The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose.
There are a number of stories about this rhyme, but my favourite centres on a pirate called Blackbeard (c.1680-1718), king of the pirates, who operated around the Caribbean.
Before long, several nations had put a price on his head. As a result, he kept a low profile when recruiting new crews. Thus Sing A Song Of Sixpence was a coded message relating to the decent wage on offer.
He also offered seamen a pocket full of rye whisky - a leather pouch holding about a litre of grog - which would have been a big incentive. Blackbeard lured target vessels close by pretending his own was in distress.
Little did the sailors realise that 24 of his finest pirates would be lying in wait (four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie) when they came to help. When they drew alongside, Blackbeard's men would spring into action, usually with fearsome screams and shouts (when the pie was opened the birds began to sing).
'The king was in his counting house, counting out his money' obviously refers to the pirate king himself.
A slang word for desirable ships, laden with treasure, was 'maid', while the waters around the Caribbean were referred to as 'the garden' - hence 'the maid was in the garden'.
'When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose' probably refers to Blackbeard's men - his 'birds' - who were always ready to launch a surprise attack on a ship to 'peck off her nose' (to grab all the treasure) before the crew realised what was happening.
| :) | Aug 18, '08 11:25 PM
for everyone |
| :P | Aug 18, '08 3:57 PM
for everyone |
 A tin foil hat is a piece of headgear made from one or more sheets of tin foil, aluminium foil or similar material. People wear the hats in the belief that they act to shield the brain from such influences as electromagnetic fields, or against alien interference, mind control and mind reading.
The idea of wearing a tin foil hat for protection from such threats has become a popular stereotype and term of derision. The phrase serves as a byword for paranoia and is often used to characterize conspiracy theorists.Tin foil hats and paranoia
Various web sites claim that people believe in the efficacy of tin foil hats and similar devices to stop the voices in their head or prevent the government, paranormal beings, or aliens from reading and/or controlling their minds. These people believe that the foil deflects mind control signals from, for instance, project HAARP, which allegedly transmits mind-control signals from mobile phone towers. These draw on the stereotypical images of mind control operating by ESP or by technological means, like microwave radiation. Belief in the effectiveness of tin foil hats is popularly linked to mental illnesses such as paranoid schizophrenia.
Scientific basis
The belief that a tin foil hat can significantly reduce the intensity of incident radio frequency (RF) radiation on the wearer's brain is not completely without a basis in scientific fact. A well constructed tin foil enclosure would approximate a Faraday cage, reducing the amount of radiofrequency electromagnetic radiation entering from outside. A common high school physics demonstration involves placing an AM radio on tin foil, and then covering the radio with a metal bucket. This leads to a noticeable reduction in signal strength. The efficiency of such an enclosure in blocking such radiation depends on the thickness of the tin foil, as dictated by the skin depth, the distance the radiation can propagate in a particular non-ideal conductor. For half-millimeter-thick tin foil, radiation above about 20 kHz (i.e., including both AM and FM bands) would be partially blocked.
The effectiveness of the tin foil hat as electromagnetic shielding for stopping radio waves is greatly reduced by the fact that it is not a complete enclosure. Placing an AM radio under a metal bucket without a conductive layer underneath demonstrates the relative ineffectiveness of such a setup. Because the effect of an ungrounded Faraday cage is to partially reflect the incident radiation, a radio wave that is incident on the inner surface of the hat (i.e., coming from underneath the hat-wearer) would be reflected and partially 'focused' towards the user's brain. While tin foil hats may have originated in some understanding of the Faraday cage effect, the use of such a hat to attenuate radio waves belongs properly to the realm of pseudoscience.
A study by graduate students at MIT determined that a tin foil hat could either amplify or attenuate incoming radiation depending on frequency. The effect was observed to be roughly independent of the relative placement of the wearer and radiation source. At GHz wavelengths, the skin depth is less than the thickness of even the thinnest foil.
Despite some allegations that electromagnetic radiation (EMR) exposure has harmful effects on health , at this time, no link has been verifiably proven between the radio-frequency EMR that tin foil hats are meant to protect against and subsequent ill health. more in comments!
| :) | Aug 17, '08 9:11 PM
for everyone |
  My bed is lonely, and so cold too
As I lay here alone and dream of you
Ooh, how I want you desperately
To have you here in bed with me
To feel your body cover mine
Our passion raw and unconfined
Your manhood stiff as I pull you near
Whispering my needs into your ear
As I feel you enter me deep within
Ooh, the pleasure your love instills
As my body trembles with throbbing thrills
Ooh, My Love! Deeper! I beg...
Surrounding your waist with the length of my legs
My mouth at your throat, my teeth lightly graze
As you're giving me all that my hunger craves
Moving as one, like the waves of the ocean
Thrusting and grinding in continuous motions
Your name on my lips time and again
Hugging you you tightly so deep within
The sound of your breathing heavy and hard
As urgency carries us overboard
Wrapped around you, as over we roll
My hands holding yours as I take control
My body with yours so perfectly tuned
Moaning with pleasure, like wolves to the moon
Slow and steady in a tormenting pace
As my heart, and yours, continue to race
Ooh, God, My Love! The time is soon!
Come follow me, soar to the moon
Arching against you in ecstasy's name
As passion takes love to whole new plane
My body with yours, melting like butter
As we collide together with a climatic shudder
I look in your eyes, so full of love
And know exactly what you're thinking of!
With a devilish gleam, I kiss your lips
As you harden beneath my fingertips
Ooh, the night is young, and full of romance
As we enter once more into ecstasy's dance
 Welcome to Warwick Castle
Warwick Castle is one of England's finest examples of a mediaeval Castle. With over a thousand years of history, this castle was first fortified by William the Conqueror in 1068. This is one of the UK's most visited attractions.
The visitor will be impressed by the heavy fortifications. For centuries the castle was the home of some of the most powerful Earls in England. The Earl of Warwick influenced the battles between the houses of York and Lancaster in the famous Wars of the Roses.
The grounds were landscaped by 'Capability Brown' and over the years the estate and residence were tranformed into a grand Stately Home. George IV, Queen Victoria, Prince Albert and Edward VII were very familiar with Warwick Castle and its hospitality.
The collections of furniture, tapestries, painting and armour make this a memorable attraction. No wonder the Castle attracts over 800,000 visitors a year.
More information about the castle can be found at the Warwick Castle Official website:
www.warwick-castle.co.uk
| :P | Aug 17, '08 8:00 PM
for everyone |
| Category: | Music | | Genre: | Alternative Rock | | Artist: | Warren Zevon |
| :) | Aug 17, '08 4:33 PM
for everyone |
Link: http://www.great-isp-deals.com/blog/2008/08/50-free-internet-tools-for... If your wardrobe includes a shiny tin-foil hat, then you will love these free Internet tools. Whether you want to protect yourself from Internet snoopers, want to spy on those out to get you, or want to be able to track trends that you know will lead to something big, then these tools will help you get the job done.
Without a Trace
If you want to use the Internet without anyone knowing who you are or leave an untraceable phone number, then these tools are for you.
1. Big String. Big String offers self-destructing IMs and emails for those who don’t want any evidence of their online communications. Use with many popular IM clients.
2. Mozilla Firefox, Portable Edition. This free web browser leaves no personal information on your computer. Not only can you use this anywhere, but no one will know you were there.
3. x Paranoia mod. This Firefox extension is great for those who want to leave nothing behind on the computer. With a couple of clicks you can clear all your Internet history, passwords, cookies, and cache.
4. Bugmenot.com. If you’ve ever had to register with a site just to read an article or watch a video, then you will want this tool. Find login information for many websites that require registration and never have to give your information again.
5. 10 Minute Mail. Use this tool to get an email address that is good for 10 minutes, then expires. This is a great way to register with sites that require an email validation or just to cover your tracks.
6. numbr. Get a disposable phone number that you can use to forward calls to any other phone in the U.S. No one will be able to trace you with this number.
7. GrandCentral. Here’s another phone option when you don’t want to be traced by your number. Consolidate all your phones into one with this tool that gives you one voice mailbox and one number for all your phones.
8. File.io. Want to share a top-secret online file with someone and then have no sign of the evidence later? This is the tool for you. The file is deleted after 30 days.
9. Fake Name Generator. If you need a name, address, email, or even a UPS tracking code, use this handy tool to generate any one of the necessary fakes.
10. cl1p.net. Create a note or upload a photo that you can keep for yourself or share, then delete it when you are finished with absolutely no sign of what you had.
Browsing Security
If you want to browse the Internet in privacy, these tools will help you do just that. Use these to do the actual browsing or to check the security of your browsing privacy.
11. Hide My Ass!. Hide your identity with this free tool. This proxy service will hide your IP address so no one will know you.
12. Tor. Like getting secreted away, this free service allows you to hide your Internet identity with a "network of virtual tunnels." Join journalists, government agencies, and more who use Tor for the ultimate in Internet privacy.
13. Guardster. Another proxy service that hides your IP, this one is available in both free and for a fee versions. The free version does not work with encrypted SSL sites.
14. Megaproxy. Paste the URL for whatever website you want to visit into this tool and you will have a completely private look at your target site. No registration or downloads needed to use this tool.
15. Scandoo. Get real time protection when surfing the Internet with warnings about websites before you click on them. Based on ScanSafe technology, this home version is free.
16. ShieldsUP!. Check out this tool to learn what information your browser is sending out. You can also test the effectiveness of your personal firewall when running ShieldsUP! testing.
17. Junkbusters. Like ShieldsUP!, this site will tell you what of your information is being revealed just by clicking on their site. You can also learn more about Internet privacy at this site.
18. What Is My IP Address?. Use this tool to ensure your IP blocking software is working correctly and not revealing your true IP address.
19. Clusty. Use this search engine when browsing. Clusty doesn’t save your information or track you at all when you use it.
20. Scroogle. Try searching Google with this tool. Scroogle uses SSL to send your search terms to Google with encryption, then does the same when sending the results back to you.
Computer Security
Using the Internet is a huge open door for people to stick their nose in your business. Use these tools to slam that door tightly shut.
21. avast!. This free anti-virus software is one of the best available (for free or for a fee) at protecting your computer. This tool will alert you any time malware is detected and even checks incoming email. avast! also includes a boot-time scan option.
22. Ad-Aware. The free version of this software does an excellent job of protecting your computer against spyware and adware. The paid version gives you real-time protection which is not available with the free one.
23. Sandboxie. This free tool is great for both protecting your computer and getting rid of evidence. It works as a temporary storage area for information that would normally go to and from your hard drive. When you are finished in the "sandbox," you can just clear it out.
24. ThreatFire. Use this in conjunction with your anti-virus to fend off malware. ThreatFire detects malicious behavior such as capturing keystrokes and also serves to defend against zero-day threats.
25. SnoopFree Privacy Shield. The ultimate free software for the ultra-cautious, this tool will detect any method of privacy invasion through your keyboard, screen, and open windows.
26. Comodo Firewall. Keep out hackers with this free firewall. This program is one of the best when it comes to protecting your computer.
27. WinPatrol. Protect your privacy and your computer with this free tool that works by alerting you to "hijackings, malware attacks and critical changes made to your computer without your permission."
28. AVG Free Anti-Virus. Get anti-virus and anti-spyware protection from this free software. This software also includes a scheduled scan option.
29. TrueCrypt. This disk encryption software will keep nosey-parkers at bay. You can create a virtual encrypted disk, encrypt USB flash drives and hard drives, and more.
30. Trustable Downloader. Download files from the Internet without worries of Trojans, worms, or viruses with this free application. As described, this tool will help guard you against government spying on its citizens.
31. SiteAdvisor. This software alerts you before you visit a website that has spyware or harvests your information for spam. Use their color-coded system to alert you to the potential dangers of websites.
32. Peer Guardian 2. This IP blocker is capable of blocking incoming and outgoing connections. You can also select to block spyware, adware, and educational and government ranges.
33. GlowWorm FW Lite . Mac users can use this software to be informed when a program attempts to make an outgoing connection. Not only will this tool protect your information, it also guards against malware.
Laptop Tracking
If someone makes off with your laptop, know how to stop them with these tools.
34. Adeona. If you want to guard against someone taking your laptop, check out this tool. This software continually tells you where your laptop is located without the interference of any third party to help you track and recover your computer.
35. iAlertU. Another laptop protection and tracking device, this one specifically for Macs, this software is based off mouse and keyboard movement which sets off an alarm, takes a photo of the thief, and emails the photo to a specified email address.
Spying on Those Out to Get You
If you know someone is trying to get to you, then turn the tables on them with these tools that will help you get the dirt on them.
36. GotVoice. Take advantage of the 14 day free trial to have your target’s voice mail sent directly to you. If you need more time, get another 14 day trial with different information.
37. Decoding Social Security Numbers in One Step. You can’t get everything out of that magical number with this tool, but you can narrow down the state and year of issue with any social security number instantly.
38. Keylogger. This free software allows you to log everything entered on the keyboard so you can track computer usage. Be sure to use the stealth mode so your target doesn’t know you are tracking him.
39. Decode Your License. This article describes how you can get a driver’s license from any state and decode the barcode on it to receive personal information. You will need the Internet tool described in the article and a scanner.
40. Webcam Spy. Use this software to spy on your target using a webcam. The software activates the webcam with a motion sensor for an auto on and off feature. Spying on your target isn’t the only use for this–you can also use it in your home to see who comes by when you are gone.
Maps for Monitoring Occurrences
Whether you are looking for evidence for your conspiracy theory or trying to put all the pieces together on a plot you know is about to be hatched, then these maps will help you get all the information you need.
41. Global Incident Map. Find out where terrorism is occurring around the world with this mapping tool. You be able to find plenty of patterns to put together your own theories.
42. HealthMap. This tool will keep you posted on health alerts. Find outbreaks by geographical location, disease, or chronological occurrence.
43. Who is Sick?. This Google map-based tool shows symptoms for any geographical spot. You’ll be able to track any type of outbreaks with this tool.
44. Incident1. Track police, fire, and emergency services on this map. You can also do a search by zip code or select a region within the states.
45. Incidentlog. If you live in the northeast and couldn’t find anything on Incident1, try Incidentlog for more options. This map is populated from a different pool of data.
46. Havaria Information Service Alert Map. Find everything from earthquakes to hazmat incidences to biological hazards on this world map. You can narrow the results by country if you don’t want to see the world view.
47. GeoMAC Wildfire Information. This map shows where wildfires are currently burning throughout the United States or check out past wildfires since 2002.
48. Piracy Attacks Maps. Pirates on the high seas are not a thing of the past. Use this map to track current piracy around the world.
49. UNEP: Atlas of Our Changing Environment. Sponsored by the United Nations Environment Programme, this map includes incidents that document environmental changes around the world. Click on each incident to see photos and read the story.
50. Google Maps Mania. This unofficial site follows the incredible array of various interactive maps being used in conjunction with Google Maps. Find a map that tracks your favorite passion or create one of your own.
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